Never fear your own rage

Are you feeling angry? Is life really getting you down? Does it seems like you’ve got all the problems without answers while everyone else has a cheat sheet?

Do your friends make you feel terrible? Is your family driving you insane? Did the washer, dryer and fridge all break on the same day, while you were trying to fix the leaky roof on the 1st anniversary of your divorce?

Are you furious with yourself for not accomplishing more?

Rage, to me, is not just anger. There is something about it that consumes you. Every last bit of you. You know there is nothing wrong with your eyes, but yet, you can barely see through your tears. Oh, those are not tears of sadness. They are probably keeping the flames of fury from burning your corneas to a crisp.

This is not the kind of anger you feel when you burn your toast and miss the bus. Rage is like a fire within you that you cannot quench and cannot hide. Everyone can see it. You can’t mask it anymore. Hell, you may not even be able to move. You just stand there trembling, using all your willpower to not destroy everything in your path.

Have you ever felt that kind of anger? When was the last time you felt so enraged that you later worried what you might have done if there were no laws or prisons to keep you in check? What was it like to be frozen in place by your own dark, animal instincts?

Frightening, may be the word. That kind of emotion is deeper and darker than any of us usually want to go.

But, it isn’t something to be afraid of.

Rage can be one of the most useful emotions there is. See, happiness usually brings comfort. And sadly, for most of us, comfort leads to stagnation. Anger and rage can act like a forest fire, destroying everything in its path, but leaving a fertile, open space for new beginnings behind.

Life will cut you. Sooner or later. People will hurt you. Things will fail to work out. Your plans will be picked up and turned upside down. You may even anger yourself. When the heart is deeply wounded, you’re in a dangerous place. You’ll want to let loose. To scream. To cry. Kick. Yell. Break things. You may even hurt yourself.

But who does that help? How does that solve anything?

It doesn’t.

You must learn to feel your rage fully and use it fix things. It really doesn’t matter why you are angry. The feeling is the same. That raw desire to lash out is all you have.

But you can use it. When angry, that is the best time to act on your to-do list. Everything you have been putting off because of … oh, who knows? Laziness, fear, anxiety. Take that rage and use it to fuel your movements. Tackle the job you were supposed to apply for. The book you were supposed to write. Maybe the laundry you’ve been sitting on for a month. Go to that agency you were afraid to go to, or work on that business plan you know you can write. Bake that cake you’ve been putting off for weeks, or work on that bird house you know you’re going to love putting in the yard.

Rage takes a lot of your energy and centers it right in your core. It will hurt you a lot if you just leave it there, but you do not want to be taking it out on the people around you either, even if they would actually deserve it. Use that massive energy center to propel yourself forward, away from your triggers and towards becoming more of the person that YOU want to be, for yourself.

 

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