10 Reasons Why No One Is Hiring You

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10. Your resume has spelling and grammar errors on it. And I’m supposed to trust you with bigger tasks if I hire you? Nah.
9. Your resume has no focus or implied objective. This is an accounting position. Why are you telling me about your interior decorating experience?
8. You don’t take time to write unique, intriguing cover letters. How do I know you’re not like all the rest?
7. Your voicemail is noisy and wack. Exactly what kind of party animal are you anyway?
6. Your voicemail is …too quiet. Or just weird. Are you even ok? Like…what is that…
5. You don’t read the job description or the application instructions properly. You seriously sent an email when the ad specifically stated ‘no email – call only’? You obviously can’t follow simple directions.
4. You are desperate and annoying. Why do your emails have to include please or plz after every sentence? And must you keep repeating yourself 6 different ways? I get it!
3. You are smug and self-satisfied. Look here smarty, I don’t owe you a job so if you are too cool to be confident and humble, then be cocky and apply somewhere else.
2. You suck in interviews. Did you really get here 30 minutes late and wearing THAT? And you seriously can’t tell me anything at all about the company, how you’ll fit or give me one good reason why I should hire you?
1. You just have bad luck. That happens. Contact me and I’ll help you figure out how to turn the tables of fate.

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